2017 Reel

This is an important year for me. It's the year that my fear of failure isn't as strong as my fear of never trying in the first place. There really isn't an equivalent phrase for women, but essentially I am "manning up." I'm manning up and learning the skills that I've been telling myself I need to learn for the past three years. I'm learning how to edit and I'm learning about audio for interviews, etc. I'm manning up and trying not to be intimidated by these things I know little about. I'm doing my best to not make excuses anymore. Earlier in the year, I got a new computer with specs specifically for editing video and that's made a world of a difference. I've had the idea for this edit since 2014, and at the time, I had no clue how to execute it. So this year, I finally made it happen. 

I was listening to the Onion Book of Known Knowledge while driving my car on the move out to California late 2013. I was driving my car alone, and sometimes with long stretches of silence. At this point, I only have photos to trigger the memories because I can't remember all of it. If you've moved across the country to a massive city, no family, one friend, no connections, no job, no client base, no apartment, and not even really knowing what the place looks like, then you can relate. :) I took a blind leap of faith and have been reminded of my mortality ever since. My curiosity for all things bigger and unknown had skyrocketed. I no longer cared what had already been proven, all I cared about was what had yet to be proven -- for myself and in general. 

The constant tango of beauty and sadness keeps me intrigued mystified by this world. I'm always searching for truth and those slivers of moments that make up the collection of our life's memories. That's really what this reel is suppose to represent; all those moments on jobs when the talent became actual people and had a moment when they forgot about the camera and were connecting with their surroundings and connecting with me.  I gathered a lot of this footage with Dan, my video partner over the past three years. All this footage is from jobs that we've shot together and my own personal travels. 

This is the first major concept I edited all on my own, and I think my 2014 self would approve. :) Thanks to Sarah Vandekamp for doing the narration and voiceover. 

My World Infinite!

In December, I took a wild adventure to SE Asia (and Japan). I got a small chunk of money from a start up media company to make some short doc videos (used to build their travel channel). The incentive was just enough since I've always wanted to visit all those countries. I went with my video partner, Dan, and first Japan, then Cambodia, Myanmar, Thailand and last Vietnam. 

With all the tourism work that I've been doing the last couple of years, I've been wanting to dig a little deeper and make more artful documentary work. After all, I have two majors in fine Art and journalism.

I wasn't ready to fully dive into a heavy topic that would take weeks, months or even years to finish. I wanted to make a handful of shorter, light-hearted doc style videos that had an inspiring and positive tone. I like the theme of contrast -- juxtaposing two identities or two unlikely lifestyles together.

Having the opportunity to travel the world and create these little videos has been so inspiring for me. 

On my own path.

The one thing that I've really learned about myself while living in Los Angeles for the past few years is that I have not only accepted, but respect that we all have our own path. This has to do entirely with the experience of living in LA and this coming of age realization that I didn't even know I had to realize. I would not have grown this much had I stayed in the Midwest. I came to Los Angeles in pursuit of trying to emulate the success of photographers I yearned to be like. I fully admit, I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to have their talent, their relationships, similar clients, their lifestyle, etc. But something has fundamentally shifted in my outlook and attitude about my life. Over these few years, I've paid less and less attention to the handful of photographers I once adored from afar. I don't desire their career or lifestyle. I don't want to have their relationships, I don't want to be around the people they hang around. I think this all has to do with finally respecting that I have my own place in the universe, and that path is meant to be different. I know these feelings are true because I no longer have that feeling of jealousy. I'm happy for them. The opposite of love isn't hate; it's apathy. I feel apathy toward them -- in a good way. I have my own ideas, and eventually my own style. I think I'm finally figuring out what it means to be me. I can freely think for myself and execute my own ideas without comparison or self judgement. 

Entering Latsch Island into these festivals was an important step for me. These "festivals," were basically just screenings..and they were small. It wasn't a big deal. It was more about creating something that I felt close to, and a step in the direction of exploring my own ideas and being more grounded. I submitted the film to a few festivals for the hell of it just to see what would happen. It got accepted to a couple and that was a great experience. It was just enough encouragement to keep making more things that matter to me, explore humanity, and search for truth in my own path.

I'm finally thankful for where I grew up. I'm from the north. A small, working class town in Minnesota. I have my own perspective. As a child, I wished I lived in southern California..but my path was not to grow up in the valley, or orange county or San Diego,  and I am finally thankful for that. Because of where I grew up, I have the ability to relate to people on Latsch, and those around the country similar to them. I'm excited to make more films like this one.